Seriously, Where are you Spring?

Thank you, bushes for ignoring the "spring is cancelled this year" memo

As I haven't seen the sun in about a week (give or take, its hard to keep track of the days here as the sky is like a perpetual gray and its cold.  So, yes, Oslo does resemble "The Road" slightly), OSLOst in space may seem a little gloomy this week.

I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up with the 20+ degree weather of March, but, seriously, its almost May (On a side note:  Labor Day here (May Day) is supposed to be cray... we shall see), stop playin', Oslo.  Make with the Spring.

As always, it could be worse.

Last year, it snowed the first week of May.

While that isn't likely (though, This is Norway!, anything poor weather related is possible), the situation isn't completely ruined.  First, there are a serious of pretty, yellow bushes that are springing up virtually all over the city.  Which, is awesome... It at least looks spring-like.  Additionally, there are these funky, little birds that keep popping up everywhere.  They seem like they're ready to get down with the chirping and looking all tough.  While they're no Blue Jay or Oriole, they're definitely way better looking than crows (we don't need a picture of a crow... just think of an ugly bird).  Yes, I just wasted 80 minutes of my life trying to figure out the bird's name.  It's a European Magpie.  Not necessarily the most glamorous of names (but, it does explain why Newcastle is called the magpies... I thought that was just British slang for cake eater.  Yes, I spent another 20 minutes looking up "Mighty Ducks" related stories.  Don't judge).

I don't eat cake!  The Knucklepuck was overrated and the most improbable thing outside of Kennan Thompson passing as an athlete... jus' sayin'

Anyway, the European Magpie, in addition to being a rather common bird, is one of the most intelligent animals.  It's intellect rivals chimpanzees and Boston sports team fans... So, it's reappearance here totally suggests that Spring must be coming soon.  This fowl ain't no fool... it wouldn't stray this far north unless it had figured out that Spring was coming and it was time to pick out the best nesting/pimp pad spots.

Our little hope seizes upon little things...

Another positive is that the sun is staying up later... Well, I assume its staying up later.  The sky is staying light gray longer in the day (8:30!) than it had previous to daylight savings (oh, did you know that Europe and North America have different daylight savings dates?  Me neither!  It seems that there was a fortnight in March where five hours separated the East Coast and Oslo.  It is one of the most inexplicable, odd things that I've come across... which is really saying something.)

Though, the uplifting seems to keep coming.  Over forty thousand people gathered in the Youngstorget Square to sing the Norwegian version of "We are the World" (The song is called "Children of the Rainbow", click on the title for the lyrics.  Then copy and paste in translate.google.com!) as an offering that the nation is more than just the hateful acts and ideas of July 22, 2011.

Despite all of my jokes and irreverence and sheep videos, this truly encapsulates the identity of Norway.  So, I will leave that as my last note for this post.

Alt for Norge

Norway's Bovine University

Since I have been in Norway, one of the most reoccurring questions I get from Norwegians are "Do movies accurately depict American life? While that is kind of a crazy question (I almost don't bring up the fact that I lived in Baltimore lest I be lambasted with "The Wire" questions... Though, that's something I'm asked by anyone who has never been Charm City) the other prominent query is totally legitimate. 

"What is the most noticeable difference between Norway and America?" 

Obviously, the language is the first and foremost, but, most Norwegians speak English (to varying degrees... but that's another blog entry).  There are numerous websites that will try and detail the major differences, but, for me, it comes down to food.

In addition to being one of the best Troy McClure shorts from, arguably, the best Simpsons' episode ever (Lisa becomes a Vegetarian... you still don't win friends with salad!), it is a great satire on the American cattle industry.  Like all satire, definition-alert, it is grounded in truth (see: pink slime).  We, as Americans, will eat anything with proper condiments on it.  One of my new teammates, who is also from the states, recently related an antidote about buying burgers back home that were so saturated, they actually ripped through the bag (I won't name the chain that it came from for fear of legal action... *cough* Golden Arches *cough*).

Conversely, here in Norway, the standards for the cattle industry, to quote the rapper/poet, Canibus, "are above precision".  The Norwegians only import American animal products that come from a certified EEA facility.  More so, prior to their EEA agreement in the early 2000s, Norway was even crazier about their food standards.  Up until a decade ago, synthetic coloring was banned (there was no yellow 5 scare!) and roughly 1/4 the additive sweeteners were allowed in foods.  Fast forward to today, where everything down to the feed (grass for my cattle!) and welfare (namely, the outdoor time, health monitor, regulation, etc) is extensively outlined in a comprehensive act that is constantly revised to ensure the utmost quality.

I'm not a doctor or a biologist, but I imagine this means the food is probably better for you...

Though, there is a downside... The portions are... uhmm... smaller.

Norwegian Portion

American Portion (I miss you, Alewife)

Though, I'm definitely more of a fan of the nutritional facts included in American food.

American Nutrition Facts... I am constantly checking to make sure I'm getting all my Riboflavin!

I would include the Norwegian version here, but its not really much:  Calories, Protein, Carbohydrates, and Fat.  

Yup... 

Remember to check me out on Facebook (Facebook.com/OSLOst)

Alt for Norge!

Westward, young man... westward

From sea to shin... I mean, Alt for NORGE!!

Well, I survived the mountains and football (read about that experience on my other blog.) and I'm here to tell the tales.

Easter was swell...

Things I've learned about the west coast of Norway:

• It is perpetually cold... even when the sun is shining and the skies are clear (not mutually inclusive items, mind you), it still feels pretty frigid.  The North Sea is unkind, my friend... Though, I hear Vancouver is the same way.
• Before the oil, there were a ton of smith-working there.  In fact, the copper used in the statue of liberty came from mines in this region.
• Winter tires are no joke.  They're heavy and are necessary... 

Blinding snow is no match for winterized tires!

It was great to eat some of the traditional, Norwegian Easter food (Lamb!) and see some of the nice statues along the beautiful harbors here.

I'm trying to help him lift the fish... I know, it looks weird

And, here are some of the other pictures of the beautiful, Norwegian landscape from the 7-hour cross country driving extravaganza!

Over the mountains and through the tundra...

My favorite picture of the whole trip... You can literally see where the tree line ends and where Winter is winning the war with Spring

Lonely cabin... I'm going to wager that there isn't indoor plumbing there

The car's thermometer read -2 C... which is "quite cold" in Fahrenheit.   Check out the frozen, natural spring to the left

Up in the clouds like Darwin Deez (obscure musical reference alert!)

your humble host...

While I got the point right, I wasn't able to erase the goofy expression on my face.  Oh well...

And that's that... Otherwise, its nothing that hasn't been told before.  Awkward reunions of friends with new (or added) significant others where everyone makes small talk or plays "remember when..." or gossips.  I find these times are vital for drinking beer and practicing my understanding Norwegian skills... one of those went really well and one of those went not as well.  I'll let you guess on that one...

Alt for Norge

Snapshots from a short week

Ok... Since the Easter holiday is coming up (Spring Holiday Season for my non-Christian friends... God Påske), that means traveling for me and no regular post for you.  I know, tragic.  To ameliorate and assuage, I'm doing a mini-post.

Pictures!  LOOK!

SMAK!

Here is a random bag of potato chips that my girlfriend/samboer/cohabitant/partner-in-mischief/brown derby debutante/maker of awesome foods like my cheesesteak from last post, purchased.  These are not the "Ramen-flavored" chips of legend... though, they're pretty good, too.  (On a side note, I have found that "Paprika" is like a dual encompassing word here to capture both the red and green peppers, while in bell-form, and the spice that comes from said peppers being rendered into ground form, plus chili pepper... yes, I had to look that up because I had no idea how Paprika was made, either).

Speaking of the lady, on Saturday, she took me to a concert of one of my new favorite artist, Jonas Alaska.  I'm choosing to term him as "Indie Folk" and "awesome"... Here, have a listen for yourself.

yes, I understand why some of you are going, "Dude, he sounds like a Norwegian Conor Oberst".  If you don't get that reference, consider yourself either "old" or "too cool for school", but not both... (fine, I will allow for a "I'm not American" to be another option, too)


I got a new haircut... there really isn't anything funny or noteworthy to remark about it, just thought I should mention.  You can check it out below.  Yes, I feel like it makes me look like I should be in YoungMoneyCashMoney, too... I hope I'd be more Tyga than Drake :(...

No, I'm not in Marvin's Room.  Yes, that is Irish Spring Body Wash in the background...  I don't have to defend it

So yeah... enjoy the next 10 days.  When I check back in, you will have known that I survived the holiday (the trip consists of transversing the treacherous, snow-covered, Norwegian mountainous region) and the subsequent return to American Football (long story... probably will be told in detail on my other blog).

Happy Holidays!!

Alt for Norge